BIPOLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER
I’m the B.A.D. like the BFG but bigger and badder I’m bipolar Tripolar Manic depressive Hypomanic today Depression tomorrow Suicidal Take those pills Drive and don’t stop I left a note Did you read it? I’m a drug taker I take the magic pill Once a day for the rest of my life I take part in counselling Telling my stories Again, and again Are they actually true? Or did I make them up? Does it even matter? Eat three times a day Sleep ten hours a night Exercise twice a week Do you feel normal yet? What is normal? Keep taking the tablets Keep waking up Keep showing up Or at least, that’s what they say.
I REALLY MISS MY HIGHS
I’m sitting on the clouds Surrounded by angels I feel like I’m one of them I’m riding the waves I’m at the top of my game Just me and the dream Who wants to join me? On the high of the century It’s fucking amazing, follow me I’m awake, my eyes are wide open The brain cells are buzzing My energy is endless Let’s talk, let’s talk Let’s drink, let’s smoke Let’s absorb the music We’re riding with the roof off Come rain or shine Can you feel it on your face? The pull of the eyes, the cuteness I feel I’m the most beautiful woman in the world Sex is a drug I have to have Do you like books, do you like films? I want to be Thelma and Louise I want to drive and not look back I’m dancing, I’m twirling The beat is in my soul Please let this feeling last forever Talk with me Smoke with me Drink with me Dance with me Ride with me Fuck with me If you dare - Join with me on the mother of all highs Will you land with me? You with me?
WHEN DID YOU SAY GOODBYE?
Stot the clock Pause the movie – of your life In this moment You were happy You smiled You laughed You relaxed For the first time in months I thought You’d turned a corner Had you already decided Had you made up your mind that this – Was our last meeting? Maybe that’s why You seemed carefree In your eyes I saw freedom Freedom for the agony of your unhappy thought The fight was over You’d cut the rope of anxiety and depression Sleepless nights Tears that wouldn’t run dry It was obvious to you As clear as day Everything that had happened Led you to this day Finally You were free
Faith Joanne is from North Wales, but now live in Hampshire. She enjoys the outdoors, growing her own veg, reading and films, and socialising with friends. She works as shop manager, and also a counsellor, with young people and those within the LGBT+ community. She has been writing for 17 years, mainly poetry, but also fiction and articles, with a few poems published in anthologies. She started performing my own poetry 6 years ago, at Incite, a LGBT+ event, and has since performed at Polari and regularly with Dragonflies since 2019. She will be publishing her first pamphlet this year, the subject matter being mental health, self-harm, suicide, death, and loss. These are close to her heart, as they are from her own experience, and losing loved ones to suicide. She hopes these poems will resonate and make others feel less alone in their experience and grief.