Faith Joanne


I’m the B.A.D.
like the BFG
but bigger 
and badder
I’m bipolar
Manic depressive
Hypomanic today
Depression tomorrow
Take those pills
Drive and don’t stop 
I left a note 
Did you read it?
I’m a drug taker
I take the magic pill
Once a day
for the rest of my life
I take part in counselling
Telling my stories
Again, and again
Are they actually true?
Or did I make them up?
Does it even matter?
Eat three times a day
Sleep ten hours a night
Exercise twice a week
Do you feel normal yet?
What is normal?
Keep taking the tablets
Keep waking up
Keep showing up
Or at least, that’s what they say.


I’m sitting on the clouds
Surrounded by angels
I feel like I’m one of them

I’m riding the waves
I’m at the top of my game
Just me and the dream

Who wants to join me?
On the high of the century
It’s fucking amazing, follow me

I’m awake, my eyes are wide open
The brain cells are buzzing
My energy is endless

Let’s talk, let’s talk
Let’s drink, let’s smoke
Let’s absorb the music

We’re riding with the roof off
Come rain or shine 
Can you feel it on your face? 

The pull of the eyes, the cuteness
I feel I’m the most beautiful woman in the world
Sex is a drug I have to have 

Do you like books, do you like films?
I want to be Thelma and Louise
I want to drive and not look back

I’m dancing, I’m twirling
The beat is in my soul
Please let this feeling last forever

Talk with me
Smoke with me
Drink with me
Dance with me
Ride with me
Fuck with me

If you dare -
Join with me
on the mother of all highs
Will you land with me?
You with me?


Stot the clock
Pause the movie – 
of your life
In this moment
You were happy
You smiled
You laughed
You relaxed
For the first time
in months
I thought
You’d turned a corner

Had you already decided
Had you made up your mind
that this – 
Was our last meeting? 
Maybe that’s why
You seemed carefree
In your eyes I saw freedom
Freedom for the agony
of your unhappy thought
The fight was over
You’d cut the rope
of anxiety and depression
Sleepless nights
Tears that wouldn’t run dry
It was obvious to you
As clear as day
Everything that had happened
Led you 
to this day
You were free

Faith Joanne is from North Wales, but now live in Hampshire. She enjoys the outdoors, growing her own veg, reading and films, and socialising with friends.   She works as shop manager, and also a counsellor, with young people and those within the LGBT+ community.  She has been writing for 17 years, mainly poetry, but also fiction and articles, with a few poems published in anthologies. She started performing my own poetry 6 years ago, at Incite, a LGBT+ event, and has since performed at Polari and regularly with Dragonflies since 2019. She will be publishing her first pamphlet this year, the subject matter being mental health, self-harm, suicide, death, and loss. These are close to her heart, as they are from her own experience, and losing loved ones to suicide. She hopes these poems will resonate and make others feel less alone in their experience and grief.  

Flights, Issue Four, April 2022